Earlier on today, as I woke up I saw a ball lying out in the backyard. Obviously belonging to some kid who had thrown it just a little too far in trying to imppress his friends (or so I imagine).
Now I completely ignored it as I had a desperate urge to answer nature's call, and by the time I finished my lunch, I completely forgot about it. Later on though, I see it again and I go out back to toss into the schoolyard beyond the fence. BUt then I realise if I do that, the chances of the ball going back to its rightful owner are small to nil. So I decide that I would walk over to the school ( a primary school by the way) and drop pf the b-ball in their lost and found. When I did this I was praised by a couple of the teachers saying that was a very kind thing to do, how noble yada yada yada. The whole shebang. And ofcourse this whole episode had me feeling very good about myself. On the way back to the house though, while whistling the secong verse of 'the bear necessities', I had an epiphany. What if I had been doing these kind of things just to recieve the accompanied praiseall along? I was shocked. Not that I have'nt thought of this before, I believe that very few people do anything at all without looking after number 1, but htis time it was especially mindboggling (perhaps due to mental state at that time :It was freezing cold wind, bad headache and lack of sleep).
Has every kind act I've ever commited been to flatter myself in some small way? Perhaps, or maybe I just liked the feeling that runs through me when I do something nice for somebody else? I still am still a little confused about the situation, but for the sake of my faith in humanity I choose to believe that my reasons are altruistic(at best).
No comments:
Post a Comment